WhisperAI Transcription Report
Title: audioEpisode 1
Date: 8/18/2026
Duration: 3635 seconds
Language: auto
Speaker Detection: Enabled
Number of Speakers: 2
---
TRANSCRIPTION:
Speaker 1: Hello, hello, welcome to our very first episode here in this podcast. My name is Stephanie and I'm here today with Dale.
And so amazing when I look back, one year ago that a woman from Germany met a man from Australia in Bali. And we had such an amazing day together and had so valuable conversations.
And yeah, I think the vibe was, was right from the very first beginning. And yeah, now when I look back, on, on us today, one year later, starting here this podcast, I'm so proud and, so amazing to speak here about our own experiences, share my perspective to the world, and we speak of course about perspective, from Dale. And, yeah, it's so amazing to have you today here.
Speaker 2: Stephanie, thank you.
It's great to see you. And yeah, I'm equally excited and grateful to be joining you to have a conversation, to be recording it and to sharing that with, yeah, other men and women who are curious, exploring, and wanting to discover a little bit more about themselves and the opposite sex. And I think you and I had some very deep conversations when we were in Bali. I think it was very profound what we discussed.
And yeah, looking forward to continuing that together over time with different podcasts And yeah, I'm excited to be here with you.
So thank you so much for, yeah, creating this opportunity.
Let's see how it goes and where it evolves. How would you like to commence?
What's, what's on your mind today? Is there anything that's front of mind for you that you'd like to chat about?
Speaker 1: Oh, it's, it's really, what, what I bring to a point is, that it's so amazing to Have this real life experience and, a person that I can speak, speak about the topics that I'm really interested in, and that, who's also on this awakening journey, and to see the differences between how a masculine ascends and the physical aspect of it.
And also, like, I have, of course, as a feminine, more, more around, more wisdom around the inner work and, the energetic part.
But how this plays so beautiful together, and to, yeah, dive deeper inside these topics about awakening, but not only as a concept, but how we live this, yeah, new wisdom and new connectedness with everything. It's like, yeah, to, to bring really across what it's like to embody this every day. And yeah, to feel, to feel safe with you here in front of the camera and create something new and Give people the opportunity to, yeah, to listen and to learn and to learn to discern whether they are resonating with what we are saying or that they can find their own way of exploring life. And yeah, that's so amazing to be here with you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Now, some admin logistics. I've noticed my Wi-Fi is going a little bit slow from time to time. I'm currently sitting on a farm in country Victoria, so I'm quite a way from the city, about 3 hours from Melbourne.
And for some reason, my Starlink is not running well.
So if it does break up throughout this conversation, please forgive me and allow us to continue. But yeah, I'm really Yeah, just, I'm, I've realized when we've had conversations or when we've spent time together, it's been really beneficial and it just flows.
So we'll see where this goes today.
And yeah, continuing possibly with some— one thing I'd really like to discuss and bring to the table early on, is this kind of new perspective that I have. And I didn't share this with you before because you wanted to press record.
So it's exciting to dump this on you immediately. And I said it may be controversial or quite taboo, and it's really just where I've gotten to in my realization between the masculine and feminine from quite a lot of years of observation, personal experience, study, that my current awareness is that we may exist on the same planet or plane.
Yet I think we live very, in very different worlds, like extremely different worlds. And I think the bridge between that is the physical interaction, be it sex and intimacy. But I'm curious, and I'd love to ask you, Stephanie, to get the feminine perspective. Other than sex and intimacy, how do you think the masculine and feminine interact with each other, or do they not?
Do they actually exist outside of that independently? Yeah, I'd love to get your thoughts on this perspective that I feel that the main interaction is really sexual between masculine and feminine, and I'm not sure what else exists outside of that. I think everything is geared towards that in both our worlds. Yeah, I'd love your thoughts and comments on that.
Speaker 1: Exciting question. I come, I think, from an energetic perspective, because when you think about, intimacy or sexual energy, it's all energy and it's life force energy.
So I think we are always connected and not Not only because when you think about us both, we are not sex— sexually engaged. And, of course you can say it like, okay, it's, it's a kind of intimacy because we have a lot of deep conversation, and that's also intimacy.
But I'm not sharing this with every man. And but in every interaction with an— with another man, there is an energetic exchange. And it's really like, we— because we are all energetically connected, and every time you meet another person, if it's a feminine or masculine, You, you interact and you exchange energy, and it's, it's really like, okay, when you feel into it that you are as a masculine are more the giving part and the feminine is the receiving part. And you, you, I can feel it in, in my daily life because I'm, I'm, yeah, not, not that much in, in solitude anymore, but I'm not.
That much outgoing as well.
So I left— I only have a few masculines in my life.
Speaker 2: A few.
Speaker 1: But it's like the dynamics is the same, but it depends on my own energy because I'm, I'm very much in my feminine energy, and so I attract Only more masculine men and other men.
I'm, I'm not. I don't connect with men that are more in their feminine.
So it's like you, you don't meet. I really don't meet anybody that's not an energetic match that meets me where I'm at.
So. Yeah, that, that are my, my thoughts on this because we have all the, the always these energetic exchange and to really think about, okay, why, why are you meeting this person? And what's, what's going on energetically? And it doesn't depend on the, on the story.
So. Yeah. Do you want me to go somewhere else?
Speaker 2: I love that you went straight to energy.
I really love that. And I'm thinking possibly some people in the audience might be like, I didn't really, you know, maybe make that connection or aren't aware of that. I love that you went there. And well, sex, S-E-X, as far as, Concerned with, you know, something I've studied is sacred energy exchange.
SEX, sacred energy exchange. The energy is part of it. Yeah, it's, it's the 2 life forces coming together.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And one thing you mentioned was this attraction of this masculine because you're in your feminine. Yeah, I'm using my right hand, my right side for the masculine here, my left side being the feminine. And yeah, I love this because this is like my, like where I started learning this 20 years ago around like this polarity or this duet, like dynamic of polar opposites. And such a big topic.
And there's plenty of people doing plenty of podcasts about the masculine and feminine and dating and relationships and marriage and breakdowns and everything. And it's like, that's why I love that you've come straight to energy. With this, because it's like, yeah, energetically, how are you showing up?
But also, what are you attracting?
What's your state? And what's that bringing into your world through law of attraction or through self-belief or through your conditioning? And yeah, what you're allowing.
So I love that.
I like to stay on that track and Was there a time, was there a time where you haven't been in your feminine, and did you attract differently, or did you have a different life experience? Like, can you tell me a little bit about that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can tell you a lot of, a lot about this because, yeah, because to Yeah, not only speak about my own experience, but, to, to explain a little bit. When we come as a child onto this planet, we come more in our feminine.
Because when you, when you see a child and that's so— I could speak all, in this point also, around, from experience because I have a son. And he's so full of life force energy, and he's very emotional. And I, I have to be the masculine energy for him to contain him, that he has this safe container to, to let his emotions flow. And that's so important for us as parents as well, to see our children more, that they are more in their feminine side because they are flowing and they are not, not that as contained as we as Adults should, should be, or we, we should learn it.
And, when I grew up, of course, we— everyone as a, as a child is more in the, in the feminine. And in the, when we grow up, we have to learn to establish this structure, this continuity, this stability to, to learn to hold our own. Emotions. And as most of the popularity, I've learned it, I think really, really learned and embodied it the last 2 years. And before that, it was really like, okay, my inner masculine side was very weak or very wounded because, yes, of course, I, I accomplished a lot in my life, but I was not stable.
I was outsourcing my masculine energy, so I, I was very much dependent on my parents. And to, to read my mirror, my outside environment, it was like I, I attracted only wounded masculine men, and I was the man in the relationship. I had to force, I had to control. That's also, like you say, wounded feminine energy.
But because the, the masculine person that I had in my life at this time, or I had a few relationships, they were not masculine because I, I didn't have the, the stable masculine side of me because it's always this, reflection and, and the polarity and So I couldn't lean into my feminine because there was no masculine energy in this relationship. And I, and that's very common for us women that we think we have to step in for the man. And that's why he can't learn as well to get into his masculine because we as feminine, we're leaning so extremely into this relationship that we Emasculate him or not even give him the opportunity to step up. And that's, really my experience, I think, my whole life, to attract more wounded masculine men or very feminine men because I was in wounded masculine energy.
And yeah, the last, yeah, 6 to— yeah, 6 years when I came across inner work and that I can change it for myself, it was really like, I think to, to, to come, to the story where— how we've met, I think you were the first masculine Man, outstanding masculine man that I've met in my life was you last year, because I did so much inner work around these topics and in this energy that I really— yeah, of course I had maybe some— I, I had an uncle, he was in his masculine side, but a little bit wounded as well. But yeah, here, of course, no judgment. We are all not perfect. But it was, yeah, it was like, okay, I had this role model, but when I look now on my perspective of the blueprint of a masculine man, I haven't met the man that can match this blueprint yet.
So yeah, my experience was I, I attracted a lot because I was not, you know, I had not a healthy masculine side on, on my own. And it's so interesting now because, yeah, of course we, we get to know each other, or we've met the first time last year in Bali. And then we had, I think, for the year, 5, 5 messages, I think 2, 2 conversations the whole year. And then I had this vision about creating this, podcast with you.
And now when we, we spoke, I think 2 weeks ago and updated, our, ourselves, it's really like we are at the same stage now.
So you are meeting again the state of my inner masculine. And that's so profound to see. That, yeah, you are always matching the right, the right energy, and the right people will match your energy.
And it's working around the globe.
Speaker 2: Yes. Well, it's almost sunset here, and I think it's morning time for you in Germany. And exciting too, because you're obviously doing this in English.
I appreciate it because I cannot speak German. And Yeah, that's a lot to take in. Thank you for answering that.
There's some thoughts going through my mind because of what you said initially in that response was, we are all feminine when we come into this world.
And I was like, do I agree with that, or do I disagree, or is there room for both? And I have to agree. I have to think, my, my experiences of young children, that, yeah, I would agree that there's— I would think like from the receptive mode or from the receiving, the feminine, like kids or babies, like they're just receiving, right? They're not creating.
They're not, potentially creating and attracting, but they're really receiving. They're not really giving and adding to their environment. They're really just interacting with and very much in need of being raised. I've got my niece, and 2 nephews in Victoria, and I spent last weekend with them, and then I'm gonna be seeing them again this weekend.
We're going horse riding for my niece's birthday, which is super exciting. This is the first time for her to go on a horse.. I haven't been on one for years either.
So, you know, we get to go and have some time together, and, you know, she's turning 10.
So double digits. And after 10 years, I would agree that they're still in this receiving mode. There's really no giving or creating, so to speak.
And, I'm really curious to look into this further myself. But just have this conversation now around at what point does, does the boys become men? Oh, or, or any of us actually create or have that masculine side of us be honored and, and allowed to grow. And if that's not happening, which I would argue that it's not, is why a lot of men are feminine, or they're not shown how to be masculine or to be a leader.
And then we're ending up in our 40s going, where are all the good men? Or why are the women all masculine? And why can't I find a partner that suits my energy. And as you said, we are always attracting the match.
And, but, and what I found is doing the inner work as well is how much that's changed. And the inner work being your own masculine and your own feminine and working on yourself in those spaces. And yeah, it was like years before I even found out that I had an inner feminine, and then I had to work on my inner masculine to actually be able to offer this container of safety for her to feel safe to be witnessed and seen and then express and be emotional. And yeah, and then it's just been this leveling up of each of the masculine and the feminine for me, my journey.
And just attracting crazy wild people and different stuff because I'm at different points of this journey that are showing me this mirror image, right? Unfortunately, you haven't shown me your crazy side yet, so I don't know if you have one. Maybe it's already gone. But there's— we're not just two-dimensional.
I don't think there's like one energy that I am at all times. It's like there's one part of me that's this, there's another part, there's lots of parts that all come together at different points. But the overall vibration, overall energy of, of that inner work is definitely reflecting, by, you know, the environment or people that we find ourselves interacting with.
So yeah, yeah, I'm really curious about when do we become a masculine.
Do you have any input on that? You've got your son, and I'm not sure if you want to share with where he's at, just objectively. Doesn't— don't have to go into too much detail, but yeah, what point does boys become men and, and doing these rites of passage. Because for myself, I've really had to navigate my own life story without a masculine role model as a constant.
And funny enough, I've met so many other men that are the same like that too.
So yeah, I mean, it's a huge topic. Would you like to discuss any aspect of that?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
I have a few, thoughts on, I, I first, please hold, hold your, question because I want to clarify, this, frequency, what, what you said, like we are having all of emotions and, and frequencies. We as, as a human have, have really one core frequency. That's the baseline, what we are attracting. And every emotion what we are going through, this crazy side or this emotional side or everything what we are feeling throughout the day, that's the flowing energy.
That's the feminine energy. It's because it's feminine energy is all, all energy. And that's, that's what we are moving through, through the whole day.
So that's, that's why a lot of people speak about the levels of consciousness, the, And people are afraid to feel angry or to feel the fear because it's, it's not defining our core frequency when we are angry for 5 minutes on a day.
I'm also sometimes angry when, I don't know, my son is, yeah, doing a little bit of chaos or I have to clean it afterwards.
So of course I'm also human. To come back to your question, when— I think it's not a, a one-time initiation. And when you think— I have now the idea of, how the, Native Americans, when they had a ritual and, the, the boys in a young age went out with the older men and went out for a hunt or something like that.
And I think that's absolutely missing in our, in Germany, of course. I don't know if, if there's something similar in, in Australia, but to have this initial point, like a time point, because for me it's like for to, to become a woman and to really become more initiated into the switching from this girl into a woman is really like the point where, where she, or when she becomes her first period. But we are also not celebrating it as something wonderful. We are, we are even celebrating it.
It's, it's something that we hide. And in, in my remembrance, it was really like Okay, but we don't speak about it.
And now, you have to use these items and you have this pain now. And there it is.
But, but it was not spoken about, okay, now you are women. It's more like, okay, we, we stepped into this sphere of, oh, now, now you can get pregnant at the age of, I don't know, I was, I think I was 13 when I had my first period. And that's the, the, yeah, the programming, I think, from, from society that we think about the consequences and the bad things first and not about the beauty in this ritual. And it comes and it's, it's so amazing to see or be aware of it because as a, as a woman, the initiation comes from the body.
And we are, it's, it's so interesting because we, we have to connect with our body and feel and stay grounded through our body. And, yeah, to come back to the initiation for the men, it's, I can notice in, in my son that he's already more masculine.. Than very many men, because I am also the opposite.
So he's also a masculine energy, and I am the feminine, the feminine, because more— the more I lean back and, and I'm not taking on the role of this controlling feminine, this, this mother who, who tries to control everything around him and protect, tries to protect him from everything.
Okay, of course, my, my responsibility is to protect him from the real danger in life that he, I don't know, that he's not running in front of a car or something like that. But he's absolutely allowed to climb a tree. And he has to also learn to, to feel His instincts. And when his own body tells him, okay, maybe I should climb back or climb down, and then to listen to his own body and to— and I don't want to override his own connectedness to his body.
And he tells me, of course, what he wants to eat, what— and that's very clear. He's very clear with what, what he wants, and I'm not suppressing it. And that's also like, I have to be also a masculine— my masculine side, that he can, he can explore as well his own masculine side. And of course, I would love to have a masculine person in his life as a real role model.
Because yeah, where, as you said, where, where from should you know how to behave when you can't see it in your outside world? And yeah, but I think as a, as a parent, you can prepare him and let him do his own stuff in his own way. And only be the, the con— the container as well. That to give him the opportunity to learn and to become this strong masculine. Because it's so, it's so interesting in, in, on my own journey now, the, the last couple of years, the more I came into my feminine side, he came also in his masculine side.
And sometimes he, he's spoiling me with, with gifts or with compliments, or he's making me coffee in the morning, and I receive it because I, I, I know he's capable of, and He, he feels so proud of himself when I can receive this cup of coffee in the morning, and he's so happy to serve me. And it's so pure, pure energy. And it's, it's amazing if you give the kids the opportunity to learn by themselves and to be— yeah, it depends on how, how much you can let go of all this. Controlling and all this programming. And, yeah, that's why we are also evolving as, as parents and have, conscious parenthood in the, in the future, because we as, as adults now have more awareness of what plays out, and then our children will benefit from it, of course.
But, what do you say, when was your Initiation into masculinity?
Speaker 2: Oh, I love that question. I will definitely come back to it. It's, yeah, interesting hearing you talk about your child and allowing him to just to be and to follow his inner guidance, his intuition, and being in his body.
My journey, of embodiment— I think this is actually critical to where I'm currently practicing bodywork— is that I wasn't embodied. I didn't even know I could be, and I wasn't aware of anything in my body other than extreme pain or some extreme issue. Like, I've hit my hand with a hammer, obviously I'm, I'm gonna feel that, and have done that. And yeah, so to be a young boy and allowed to be embodied, I think, is, is a great thing.
I had my nephew.
So last week, went on Friday night, my sister has joint custody with 2 of the older kids.
And so she gets them every second weekend, and we pick them up from school on the Friday. And it's exciting to see them in their school uniform around their friends. And the environment they're in, obviously, because they're in like a junior school, in primary school, and they, you know, have their own one classroom.
Like, that's their sort of home base in the schoolyard.
And next year my nephew goes to high school, so it'll be like another evolution for him, and he's gonna be the youngest in that school then in the, in terms of the classes.
So Interesting to see his journey and be a part of that for him. When we picked him up, you know, I'm excited.
I'm a big kid. I'm the fun uncle, and I'm also cheeky and a bit of a joker, and I don't want to follow the rules either.
So I'm sort of chasing my nephew around. I have my other young nephew who's 4 years old with us as well, and he was playing in the garden bed.
And of course, you're at a school and there's teachers and there's like a teacher on yard duty or whatever while everyone's going home. And my oldest nephew started like hanging from a rafter and swinging like a monkey, right? And it was quite high off the ground, but not like, you know, he would have died. And he sort of did it but didn't do it like in the way he wanted.
I'm like, we'll have another go. Get up. I'll show you. I'll do it with you.
So I'm holding on the rafters and this lady comes up like, get down. You can't do that. Starts. Telling us off, right? And I mean, it's her world, she's the big cheese, she's the one in charge.
And but there's a part of me that's like, fuck you, lady. Like, I'm having this moment with my nephew, I'm the masculine example in his life, and I give him permission and myself permission to do this because I feel it's quite safe. Like, I'm not doing something unsafe, but Every part of me was like, there's not even a point in having this conversation with this person. There's no resolution here.
There's a saying like, don't argue with a fool because they'll beat you with experience every time. And I was just like, took the higher route and just walked off with my nephew. But then I pulled him aside and said, hey, are you okay? Like, how are you feeling about that?
But also, don't take that personally. She's got her own You know, fears around that. And he's like, no, I didn't take it personally. And you know, I'm learning how to navigate being an uncle in that way as well with a growing young man, knowing the inner work and the work that I've done and how much I've been exposed to.
But yeah, I think there's some responsibility for me to be aware and also meeting the world resistance where everyone has to be safe and cotton woolled and you can't just be a boy and climb on a tree and that was my nephew with his instincts. Like, it wasn't me getting up there and holding onto this rail saying, let's do this. He was already doing it, just wanted to be witnessed in that. And I feel, I feel we all just wanna be witnessed.
I feel it's a big part of all of our journeys. I was having this conversation with a, a friend last night, that I met up with and yeah. Being seen, being witnessed comes back to this original theme or question around intimacy. And you can break that word down to like, into me you see, like, into me you see me.
And then that's just clicking as like being witnessed for me. It's like you're being witnessed by someone, and being witnessed by someone makes you feel really good. It makes me feel Like my story matters. It makes me feel like I matter.
It makes me feel that I exist for a reason, and it's great, and I'm accepted, and all of those things. I think that's universal between the masculine and the feminine. We just potentially see it in different ways, but we— I think we want acknowledgement and respect and to be seen and held. Anyhow, I've gone off in the weeds there.
I'll come back to your question so we can stay on, about, yeah, at what point did I go through that initiation? But I really love that last point around intimacy and being witnessed. And I think that's where I see, yeah, the spiritual evolution of everyone is like being able to hold each other and masculine and feminine. I think that's I think that's the biggest part.
And it starts as a child, as you said, we're all feminine. And then witnessing your son going through his embodiment and intuition, and my nephew, you know, in that example. Had it happened for me? Best and worst thing that could have happened to any child was I was 13 and witnessed my father dying. Was there when it happened.
And I reflect on that as an adult, and I have done many times, that, you know, that was a really great thing to happen at a young age because I got to experience death. I got to experience the finality of that and the unexpectedness of it. And I also for myself had to step up at a young age and just figure it out and grow. And I mean, there's so much other, personal experiences around that time that have really shaped me.
But it was really, from what I can remember, one of the first things to go, wow, it's like you're on your own. And I think that's a big part of being a man or being masculine is solitude and being alone and being you're on your own. Like, it's up to you. No one's coming to save you.
It's, it's on you. And I really felt that at that age.
So yeah, that's, that's probably— that's the initiation part of it. And we can dive deeper into that if you like, but I feel like I spoke quite a fair bit at the moment.
It's a lot to take in.
Speaker 1: Absolutely interesting. Yeah, maybe I want to add, that I think it was a very, as you said, a very huge initiation for you, to, to, to feel that we, that you're, you're not able to. I think the life lesson was I'm, I'm, I'm not dependent on anybody else because we as, as masculine and feminine, we now, we are now in a time where we learn to be independent and not in an over-functioning way, but to, to be independent with our own energetic system and our own life so that we can free and interact freely with, with each other.
And of course it was, I think, a very young age with 13 to, to lose a father figure. And, yeah, but I think we are, yeah, strong souls here and our, our life was shaped like that to, to learn it in a very young age that it's not the way or we can't continue in the ways that we used to act in a dependent way on our parents or on, other, other people in our lives.
So I think it was a, yeah, a very huge, huge part of your ascension journey, even with 13 and absolutely not aware of it. But I, I knew by myself that I wasn't always Of course, I was surrounded with people, but I felt this solitude and I felt alone sometimes.
But I also had to learn to be okay with being alone and not to depend on, on another person. And, I want to add something that you said for I think I lost— I wanted to add something.
Okay, it's, it's gone. I wanted to say, yeah, I don't know.
I think we, we can continue.
Speaker 2: It'll come back if it needs to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, of course. No, I, I think I wanted to go into this interdependent or conscious relationships between masculine and feminine.
And that's the point where we have to learn to be responsible for our own feminine and masculine energy, that we are able to come together and create something together, not out of dependency. And that's also the change that You feel, I think, in your life, because you said earlier, yeah, it's, it's so difficult to attract the right partner. But it's like, okay, maybe we have to learn to do it in a different way. And we are in the forecast of this new type of relationships that are coming up.
And it's so interesting to witness this. Changes around interdependent relationships and that the people are thinking about energy and energetic systems and how this whole polarity thing, thing, yeah, works out and, how to create a functioning And balanced relationship. And that's, of course, you had your journey to become more masculine and more, more in, in absolutely also your balance between your masculine and feminine side. And like you said earlier as well, you have to establish this masculine shell that you can experience your feminine side in a safe way.
And, to— it's always the first step to, to feel yourself and your energies in your body and having— have the connection to both sides. That another person can meet you there. And that's, cycling back also to the intimacy part, and that all People want to be seen. And it's so stunning for me because I can see in my own evolution now that I crave this feeling of I want to be seen, I want to be heard, but not in, oh, I need this attention kind of way.
No, in a healthy way. And It's of course we all want to be seen, but to have in mind that you only— another person can meet you as deep as you've met yourself. And that's why we are seeking so much time outside of ourselves for other people that can see us. But when you can't see yourself and can't feel into your feminine side, as, as an example, You can't, as another example, to, to receive love.
You, you will always seek love outside of you. But when you have a person in your life that will give you the love, you can't receive it in this kind of way that you want it, maybe, because you can't love yourself. In this capacity now. And that's like the whole ascension process around this topic, because we are searching outside of us to be seen, to be heard, to be loved. But it's really like going from within and find this within in solitude.
And of course, it's so important to, to take your time for this. And it's absolutely a journey.
I know. I don't know How, how many years would you say are you aware of your journey to awaken more and more?
Speaker 2: I think from different perspectives, I could pick out different times or years or age— ages, but ultimately it's probably from day one.
You know, it's like, just different depths. And yeah, some big events like, you know, losing a parent, having your parents divorce, losing, you know, you're having your pet die, going through, you know, changes in school, moving house, changing jobs, changing locations, changing partners, you know, experiencing just life is, is part of that. I think for me, like, my experience was like when I really took life into my own hands was around 23.
I decided to leave where I lived and move interstate, like to the other side of the country.
So like 3, 000 kilometers away. I'm not sure what that would be in Europe, but it's like probably from one side of Europe to the other. And there's a big part of me that like was just vibrating in my chest of like this want to let go, just go.
It was like pushing me. And, yeah, that would have been like my first experience of awareness around my intuition, but it was like screaming at me.
So yeah, possibly around that time, like really feeling, okay, I am taking control and direction of my life. And yeah, I mean, that's 10 years from when, you know, I was 13 to 23, let's say.
So a lot of growth in that time, but also figuring life out and my place in it. And yeah, lots of things. I went on a personal development course which opened my eyes to different things. There's parts of me that are just driven to experience different ways of living or different environments or different groups of people.
And kind of had this conversation last night with my friend that even though I've gone and done all this beautiful, wonderful, crazy, out-there things to be who I am, at each precipice of doing it, there was still like apprehension and nervousness and like a fear. It wasn't like I was like, yes, easy, and just go do it. And it's funny because then I, once I've done it and move on to the next thing, I kind of forget that there was this fear. Prior to that. But what I'm facing now, like, there might be some apprehension or some, some fear, and, meeting that and then moving forward through that.
You know, like, the biggest lesson that I got from losing a parent was like, you just don't know when your time is up, and take the risk, go do the thing. That's really guided me a lot through my life. And yeah, like, I've been through my own mental health issues, I've gone through depression, I've gone through Loneliness. I've gone through, yeah, betrayal, you know, lots of life experiences that we don't choose consciously.
Like, we don't go, I want to wake up one day and feel depressed, or I really— you know what I'd really love is my partner to cheat on me, or I really love this job to fire me. Like, we don't choose some of these things, but we get to experience them. And grow from them. And as far as, yeah, like awakening and, and journey, like, I think all of those things contribute to it..
The level of awareness that I find myself at now is somewhere around acceptance and gratitude and excitement, but it hasn't always been the case on that journey. And throughout that journey, you never really— I never really knew what was coming anyway. I just knew it had to be better.
Like, something's got to be better than where I am.
It's got to be worth it. Like, the struggle's got to be there. It's got to be a reason for it.
So that's— yeah, I would say that's where I'm like, I'm at.
But it hasn't always been that case. I mean, Bali was a big part of that journey for me. I spent 8 months there last year, and COVID was quite a big Disruptor to society and really, I think, sorted out conscious people from unconscious people. And I wouldn't say I'm at the forefront of that.
I think I'm somewhere in the middle.
I know there's some people that are way ahead of the awakening journey or some leaders in that space, but there's plenty of people behind me and behind you that haven't even explored that. Yeah. Can I ascertain one Period?
I don't think so. What about you? Can you work out like, hey, this is when I started my awakening journey, I was like totally unconscious Stephanie, and now I'm like superstar amazing spiritual warrior Stephanie?
Speaker 1: I could, I could really point out a time because, I think it was right before right before COVID happened because I was pregnant with my son, 2019.
And I was so— I had so many issues during my pregnancy that I spent the whole 9 months mostly alone at home. Couldn't function. My body was not, was not functioning. I had to I couldn't buy food.
I couldn't open the fridge. I couldn't smell anything. It was terrible. I lost some weight.
So it was, yeah, I was really dependent in this time on, yeah, it was boyfriend later on, then husband, but he was also, Some, some months away for work.
So I was alone or with my parents, and that really forced me into solitude. And I was, really on my own. And when your body is not working like you want it to, and you are growing a human being in, in your inside.
That came up a lot, I think. A lot of programming, a lot of how do I want to raise a kid and, this whole, yeah, whole conditioning. And I was always a person that was more fighting against the, conditioning and the patterns and society telling you, oh, you have to do it this way. And then, of course, I, I, my son is born in January, and then in Germany, COVID, the first lockdown was in, in March.
So I was at, at home and, and I was very most of the time alone with my child. And of course, I, I had to, I had a lot of time, to watch some conspiracy theory movies. And that hit me. This awakening hit me really, really deep because it was like, okay, the matrix was falling, falling away.
And I had—
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: This solitude and I was not participating in anything other than staying at home with my child. And it was really like, it cracked me open to how do I want to raise this child? How am I interacting?
How Why am I reacting like this?
So it was really like go digging really deep into my own behaviors. And of course, as a child or as an adult who looks back now and says, okay, I know the mistakes that my parents did. I want to make it different.
And I had to deal with all of that.
So it was really like this. I think I was so unaware, in, in my previous life, and then was the very first, I think it's spiritual awakening. But on the other hand, I, I, I knew my whole life that I'm here for something, for a greater purpose.
And I'm not, I was working in a job, I don't, I hated it.
So I knew I want to, to do something else with my time. And, but it was like, it was not changing and was not activating, or my life was not that bad to change anything. I knew I'm, I, I, it could be better, but I was not willing to put in the effort to change something.
And that, changed when, when I, gave birth to my child and the whole journey afterwards.
So I think it— at the last 6 years, and especially the last 3 years, really ramped up in, in, in the speed of activation and the whole integration of this wisdom. And I think I was at this point when we've met in, in Bali, really, that I reached these higher frequencies and the states when, when you're meditating a lot or do yoga or whatever. And, to really— I was really blessed to feel the Kundalini awakening, the energies in my body.
I'm so really— now when I look back, and I, I, of course, in, in the next episode, I really want you to dive deeper into what, you said, the, the topic of betrayal. And, to come back to this, how we betray ourselves and How, when I look back now, how numb my body was and how numb I acted with my own feelings. And when I figured this out, it, it really speeded up the whole, the whole process. But I think, maybe you want to add something, but I really want to make a break and continue in the next episode.
So. What do you think?
Speaker 2: I love this. I mean, this is why I love chatting with you, because you don't know where it's gonna go.
And then I'm sitting here like thinking, what is the— what is the listener like getting out of this? And it's like, well, you're starting to just, yeah, listen to, to people's stories, right? Like characters in a novel. But this is real life in real time.
Yeah, we haven't figured it all out yet. No, we're still like living life where You know, we're just doing life and doing it as best we can with the current level of awareness that we have. The thing I'd like to finish on, and definitely happy to come back to, the next episode around betrayal, starting to get really juicy, and it could be some sort of hook to be like, oh, I want to tune into the next one. But yes, definitely happy to open up the betrayal.
I'd just like to get your perspective on how you would define awakening, and I'm happy to share mine as well. But just what does awakening mean? Because everyone's at different stages of their journey.
Some people, this is the first time they might have heard awakening.
.
Some people might be well down the path and the awakening changes because they may be experiencing like you are Kundalini energy in the body, some extreme life force that's not available to everyone. And it sounds like a nice worthy goal, but at the same time, it may not be that pleasant of an experience. Like some other people might have you believe.
But can you please define from your point of view, as we wrap it up, what is awakening? And I'll happily share mine after you've commented.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think in, in an easy way is like the, the point in your life when you realize you are more than just a human.
And to awaken to the, to the realization really that you are here for more. You are not here to have this amount of time in, in, in this experience and suffer and experience and that you are the victim here.
So really to Awaken to the point that you are the creator of your whole life, consciously or unconsciously, and that you can change everything and turn around your whole life. That is so the, in easy words, my perspective on awakening.
And I really, I really, really, suggest that we make another episode around this, but, yeah.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 1: Your, your final thoughts about this awakening?
Speaker 2: Yeah, awakening, it's, it's a good place to land at the end of the episode.
I think awakening is the opposite of being asleep in the normal sense.
So if you're unawares, and then unaware means that you're aware, so it's like a different level of awareness. And I think From my experience, it's like these different awarenesses, different layers, different things become available. This is part of my journey of, you know, growing up as a child and becoming a man, but also going through my own challenges with substances and becoming sober, and different awarenesses and different unconsciousness with that spiritual stuff, if you want to put it in that way, or energetic.
And conspiracy theories and all the, yeah, all the ways that we have these illusions and finding your feet as you navigate those, I think is like, yeah, there's just so many facets to it that it's a, it's a generalization of awakening. I don't think it means one thing. It's definitely multi-layered and is different for everyone and different. Yeah, different points.
I think different awarenesses become available and it's terrifying but equally exciting because what we may not be aware of right now, of what's coming as well for ourselves.
So yeah.
Speaker 1: We have so many—
Speaker 2: Definitely happy to have a talk about— definitely could dive into this much, much deeper. But yeah, ultimately awakening would be Awareness for me, like it's awarenesses and what's your current level of awareness and not judging yourself too critically and not judging others by their own level of awareness and avoiding spiritual egotism in the sense of like, I'm more awake than you and I'm so much better because yeah, we all have different journeys.
Speaker 1: Definitely. And there's no, no hierarchy here. We're all at the right place at the right time. Playing a different role.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, thank you.
Let's have a break.
Speaker 1: Yes, we make a break. And thank you guys for listening, and stay tuned for the second episode.
Speaker 2: See you then.
Speaker 1: Bye.
---
Generated by WhisperAI
https://whisperai.com