WhisperAI Transcription Report
Title: audioEpisode 2.1
Date: 8/18/2026
Duration: 3511 seconds
Language: auto
---
TRANSCRIPTION:
Hello everyone. Hello Stephanie. Welcome back to our second episode where the masculine and the feminine meet. Two perspectives, one conversation with Stephanie and Dale.
So thanks for tuning in. Um, it's good to be back. I'm still on the farm, believe it or not, and looking after some cows. It's really great to see you again, Stephanie, and just share with you these conversations.
And I love where it goes. I love the fact we can carve out some time to actually discuss this as well. And in our last episode, we talked about taking some solitude on our journey. And this can be really challenging for some people being alone on their awakening, alone in their life path, alone in a relationship.
And Yeah, maybe we can dive into that today.
I know you want to discuss a little bit more around the awakening side and possibly even the hierarchy or lack of it here. But yeah, welcome Stefanie, great to see you. Yeah, hello, hello.
Um, yeah, I really wanted to touch on the last episode and, um, with the topic that we closed the, the first episode off.
So, um, yeah, because we, we listen to a lot of people maybe about ascension and awakening and, um, about how this whole process works. And I really had this awareness sink in, I think, the last week for myself, because I also wondered, okay, why are some people talking about, um, yeah, you have to ignore your outer world and go more with your awareness into the 5D or the, the good, good feeling frequencies and, um, really not, um, yeah, looking outside of you to make progress in your life. And, um, because in my experience it was really like, okay, I, of course I had this time in my life where I tried to reach this higher frequencies and to feel good and have to experience this highs and, um, to have, of course, the matching experiences with it.
But we ignore our lives and our rela— uh, and environment outside of us because we are trying to escape, um, what we are experiencing in every now moment. And I thought really about, because I'm, I'm doing a lot of, um, teaching, uh, around these topics. And I really dive deeper into what am I here to speak about and to teach and to make this understandable in an easy way and an embodied way. Because in my opinion, it's really no hierarchy here that we have a lot of people trying to reach these higher frequencies.
And some other people are on another stage of awakening and They have this physical experiences and the teachings around stay in the now moment and experience really the sensations in your body in this now moment and don't bypass it. And I, what really hit for me, it's, it's really like, okay, we are ascending as society, uh, as whole human beings, and that the, the, the world is, is not capable of holding everyone ascending at the same stage at the same time.
So of course we have some people that are so-called more evolved or more developed in their ability to hold the, the higher frequencies, but that doesn't mean that they are more valuable or that they are, um, ahead of anybody else. It's like really like, okay, we have our own part in this awakening and we don't have to reach for another state consciously because it's our own evolution to go through all of these stages and no one defines Which is better or worse, and really to feel into, um, because I went through these 3 stages myself, and now I'm really much in this embodying state.
Well, that's why I've created, or we together created this podcast, because we wanted to, uh, maybe come back to the energetic standpoint.
Okay, as I'm as a feminine, had this vision, I received this vision, and I really wish to have a masculine side, masculine expression with me to ground this project into the physical life. And of course, it was most my part to set up the back end, but what energy is holding this podcast with me and grounds me as a, as a person as, um, as well is the part that Dale is here, or we are together here and we are creating this. And he brings his wisdom too, or you bring your wisdom too.
And it's really like to go and share our experience with other people that they can learn from it. And Really to learn, okay, when you are in the state of, um, I want to reach the, the higher states, that it's absolutely okay to be there and to, to take your time for this whole process. Because of course we can't— sometimes it's like, um, when, when, um, Dale and I, we spoke about, um, frustration before we, um, recorded this podcast. It's really sometimes It, this, this frustration is sometimes also an expression of, okay, the world outside of you has to catch up your frequency and that you're on a threshold because the world has to hold your energy as well.
So it's not only on, on you to reach these higher frequencies.
No, sometimes it's, it's, it's, it's time needed to adjust everything around you, and that the, the world has to evolve with you. And that's another perfect example how we are all connected, and everything is connected with, with nature. We as a human species and everything on this planet follows the divine plan.
So Yeah, it's, it's, it's for me, it's like it's falling off so much pressure because I'm not, I'm only responsible for my life and everything else is already orchestrated. And that was very, I found really peace in this kind of mindset or in this kind of concept I'm, I've talked about because I know I'm playing out the perfect part that I am here to embody in this now moment, even if I'm at the activation. And to cycle back to the awakening point, when we think about the word awakening, it's, it's like, okay, you can, you can be awake or you can be asleep.
So it's like you're on or you're, you're off.
And everything else is like, okay, I'm becoming aware and more aware from time to time. But it's really like, it's, you can see the process in the time. And yeah, to, to don't put so much pressure on where you are at because you are always at the right time and to don't feel bad that someone is maybe so-called far away or the more, more ahead of you. And yeah, it's really like it's, it's no hierarchy here.
That's something I really wanted to add to our last conversation. This idea of hierarchy, it's hit you, um, profoundly by the sound of it. And I think the one thing that comes to mind for me is comparison is the thief of joy.
So if we're comparing ourselves, there's no joy because we always feel behind.
Psychologically, as humans, we look at our level or up as far as looking forward, like who's doing better than us. We very rarely look backwards and go, oh my God, I've come such a long way and there's so many people behind me that aren't at my level. It's just some, some way that we're wired To be looking to be improving and be better. And I get this sense that, like, for me, but also maybe society, like, we're in a rush to get somewhere.
Hmm. And we have to be at the 5D meditating on a mountain, levitating. Uh, and if we're not doing that, then it's not good enough. One of my mentors, and it's been very— this, like, one of my mentors would talk about, okay, yeah, it's great, you can do all this meditation and spiritual work, but there's also, like, you've got to chop wood and carry water.
And what that means is like doing the things each day to live in the human experience. And I've been doing that this week on this farm is like going out chopping wood, carrying it, like I lit a fire tonight. And, you know, having to add to that and keep contributing to that is very different from just pressing a switch and turning the heating on.
And so it's really grounded me in this like elements of the world we live in and in my human experience, which is beautiful because, yeah, you can go on this spiritual path and go into all this deep work and, yeah, go through your healing journey, go through your awakening journey, but not at the expense of forgetting who you are, where you're at, and what you're responsible for, and just living as well.
Um, I had to fix some plumbing, so I had to carry my water. I had to like make that work or I wasn't going to have a shower or I wasn't going to be able to drink.
And so yeah, chop wood, carry water, like do the things that you still need to do. And that could be at any level, like whether you're running a business or you're working for someone or you're unemployed, you have a responsibility each day to show up for yourself.
I mean, you mentioned that at the start of your, of your comments tonight was this idea of like being responsible for your life path. Hmm. And I think that's probably the start of awakening for anybody. I'd say that's where it begins, is like, hey, I've got— I've actually got some influence over what happens to me, not just things happen to me.
And, you know, there's different views on that. I think like it could be a victim mindset that, you know, things are always bad and things are always happening to me, and not acknowledging or not even being aware that you can acknowledge your involvement in that. Yeah, I think there's some part of this is like, okay, where does, where does it start for your awakening? It's like taking responsibility for yourself, and not everyone does.
So it's great to just even acknowledge that, hey, I'm actually like taking some form of responsibility for the things that happen in my life, and I've got choice over who I interact with, the foods that I consume, the media that I consume. The job that I do, the people that I look after, the people that are affecting me positively or negatively, and having some sense of your relationship with everything is within your control. Even just reaching that level of ability and awareness is a huge step. Yeah.
And then how could you sit at that point and then compare yourself to like, I'm not doing good enough because someone else is much better at meditating or yoga than me?
Or someone lives in a different place to me. It's like you got to chop wood and carry water and be doing your part in this body, in this experience. And, um, being okay with that, I think, is that leveling aspect of the hierarchy of which you speak about.
There's no good or bad or better. Everyone has their part. Is that where you were heading with that hierarchy? Yeah.
And, and we are not here to meditate the whole day and sit on a mountain and be in solitude. We are here to have this human experience. And what, what really changes, and that's, um, the embodiment part of, of this, when you have this awareness about yourself and about your patterns and your recognition and, um, everything, the connectedness, how I, um, react to life and how I respond to life and really to, to stay in the now moment and to experience what is in front of you in every single moment. Because when we are— when we want to, to reach these higher frequencies, we, we have— we hadn't had to come here on this Earth to experience these higher bliss states in the mind, because we are a soul in this body.
And then we have— we, we're not incarnated here on this Earth to experience what we truly are. No, we are here to experience the duality of the things. And you, of course, have always the choice to discern how you want to perceive your situation, because it's really like, okay, now we have access to so much more awareness and consciousness, but how Do I change my daily interactions with the people? Because I, I can really speak about, uh, experience.
When I come from love and compassion, then the, the world is responding in this, in this frequency. And I can give another example. I'm working through this with my, with my own child at the moment because, um, he's really pushing pushing my buttons. Um, and it's an opportunity for me to, to stay in this love frequency on this higher states of frequency because I know, of course, I could say, ah, he's, uh, he, he, I, I, I need to, um, set clearer boundaries.
I have to punish him. I, I don't know when he, of course, I, um, I think I, I Didn't say it in on the podcast, but I'm, I'm moving in 2 days and I'm sitting here, um, in absolutely chaos and he's doing more chaos.
So he's absolutely, he's a child. And I'm sometimes I'm getting angry because he's doing it on purpose to get me angry.
And of course I could react from the lower states. Yeah. And be angry at him and yell at him.
And sometimes I do, of course, because it's really challenging at the moment to handle everything on the same— in the same time.
But really trying to embody this higher frequencies, and I hope I can bring the point across, because it's really like, okay, I try to stay connected with my body, with even when I'm activated. And it's not, not a failure to be activated as a as a parent or in a relationship or, or whatever situation you are in, it's not the, the mistake to be activated, but to, to stay with this intensity in the body and to not react from an animalistic or the, the lower frequencies with anger, or I don't know, to punish him or something like that. And we are absolutely wired. I, I wonder sometimes where does it came— come from, because I can't remember in my own childhood that I was punished, but yeah, I know I don't have that much remembrance of my own childhood, but I, of course, I evolved out of this and I'm, I'm really trying to embody the more the of the higher frequencies, what I'm aware of, and really trying to see, okay, he's at the moment the trigger and he's just the trigger to help me to stay connected and, and give me the opportunity to work on my own somatic presence that I can hold more capacity.
And it's, it's absolutely influential for my, for my business, for myself, for my own nervous system.
So it's, it's really not— I am not the victim because my child is acting like this. No, I'm in control and I work with the environment that I'm in, and I have always the to switch the perspective and embody my highest version. And that's really like, okay, you are at the point where you are at, and I only can compare myself to, to the version of me that I was yesterday.
And I know inside of me that it's another way of acting and That, that exactly this change will change the world because I changed the life of my child because he will absolutely experience another, another, um, another situation with me if I'm angry or if I'm in love and I can see him.
Okay, I know you trigger me and you, you are like an ascension partner. You can call it, and, um, it's so amazing to have the ability and to be awake that I can see this interaction in this perspective. And that's another part of embodiment.
And, and I absolutely know that I'm, I'm here to, yeah, integrate it in, in my own life, but show the way to others and That's the point where I see in you, um, Dale, because when you are interacting with your nice, uh, niece and, and nephew, it's really like, okay, you are, you are aware of the conditioning and the fear of another person, as you said in, in the previous, uh, episode, but you can change your perspective and you can hold another, another kind of container for them. That they can grow up more aware than we were in, in the same age.
So it's absolutely, yeah, amazing to, to hear and to see how our own evolving and, yeah, our learning process impacts everyone around us. And it doesn't depend on where you are at because you are, when you are awake, You are far ahead from others and you are playing the right part.
I think the attitude of this is what comes to like mind for me is like, how's your attitude and what are you, how are you approaching it? Is this responsibility? But I'm curious, like, can you help me understand how in the heat of the moment you would deter from being angry?
Let's say, are you trying to avoid this feeling because it doesn't feel good?
I have to admit, like, when I'm angry— and it happened yesterday when I was fixing some plumbing, like, really nothing was going right and I was so frustrated and it became anger— and I wasn't trying to avoid it. It was just like, this is the experience that I'm having right now. The things that I'm trying to fix are not fixing, they're not working, and it's annoying. And in my mind, I have this idea that it should just be easy and it's not.
And I'm on this farm all by myself, so I can yell and scream and swear and no one's gonna hear. I feel like there's a lot of permission in that. And conversely, like when we're in environments where we've got a lot of people around us at work, we really have to contain that.
Um, so I'm sort of like just allowing this anger because it was so long in my life where I wasn't allowing it or wasn't able to express it.
You know, I mean, there's so much in, in your own personal development and in your own journey But how do you practically do it? And why should we practically do it? Like, why avoid it? Like, would it not be okay to express anger in front of your child and show them what anger is?
Or are we just perpetuating these unconscious, uh, reactions? And why do it in the first place? Like, what's the point of even doing that? What's the point?
So, um, yeah, to clarify that, I'm, I'm Absolutely not suppressing it.
So because I can feel the activation in my body, but it's really like when, of course, when really when I look back in the, in the, in the last, my son is now 6, in the last 6 years, how much, how many times I was angry and I was yelling at him and absolutely, but You have to express it when it comes up, definitely express it. But I made, in quotation marks, the mistake that I yelled at him.
So I pushed my energy against him.
So he was the— of course he was the cause, the cause, and my anger was the effect. But When I, I really felt through the anger, and then there came a point when I, where I thought, okay, I have to change it because it, it doesn't feel right to scream at him and be angry about something that he's doing out of his life force. Because how can I be angry When he's only expressing what a child is here to express.
So it's, it's really like when I, when I stay away, aware of my body, and I can feel, of course, the activation that something's coming up, even if it's, it's anger.
But I, when, when I change the perspective that he's not doing it to me. Yeah. And it's like, it's not, not anger that's coming up, or it's not that much anger.
So it's, it's, it's really like, um, if you think about a baby, newborn baby, and you're, you're having, uh, is it, you're having the baby in your arm right in front of your face and the baby is hitting you.
Are you angry? Because maybe it hurt. I don't know. Maybe it hurt.
But are you angry at the baby because he hit you? Sweet question, because I did get punched in the face by my four-year-old nephew last week, and he knew what he was doing. And I was like, wow! That's um.
It's a different experience to be punched in the face by someone you love and someone that you maybe isn't fully in control of their actions either, or they're they're acting out in the way that they're expressing.
So. Yeah, I get what you're talking about. Am I angry at the child?
Definitely angry at the event. It's interesting, but can you take it out on the child? And then I don't know, how else, how else could you be? I mean, do you be passive and just be like, yeah, it's totally fine to hit me?
Like, this comes back to your own— for me at least, my own, uh, measure of like what is acceptable and what's not, and how do I behave with that. Um, tell me how many, uh, like In your work, how many of your clients would have children? How many people are navigating something similar to yourself? Like, because even for myself, not being a parent, but having young children in my life, I feel like there's this responsibility beyond myself to behave in a certain way.
It definitely drives me to be better. It's really interesting, that responsibility that comes up. But yeah, for yourself, like your clients, is this a benefit to them? Are they experiencing a similar thing?
Because to be able to just be in witness or of a child. We talked about being a witness for the masculine and feminine, but just the same, children want to be witnessed and not reacting to your environment as the adult. And, you know, where do you draw the line with that? Because it obviously crosses into parenting and what's socially acceptable.
And, uh, you know, everyone has an opinion on, on how to parent a child. You can only go from your perspective. But yeah, seeing them as a, as a Seeing them as their own entity, their own soul, their own spirit, and they've got their own journey, I think is a really good position to take. But yeah, what's your current experience?
Like, do you have a lot of clients that face these issues? Is it something that you're dealing with on your own or is there, yeah, is there some deeper, you know, awareness here? Yeah. Um, I have a lot of clients that are, that are having children.
And when you think about, yeah, every, every parent gets the right, the right child.
So it's, it's in, in this case, it's the same. You, you, you're receiving the child that can best push your own buttons. It's really, it's really, and from an energetic point, you're absolutely, and I, I, I don't want to, to speak about other, um, other people's experience, but I absolutely can speak from mine because, um, my child is very, he's very loud and, um, no, I maybe I should say he's full of life force energy.
Absolutely. No, not. Yeah. Compressed, not suppressed.
It's absolutely flowing through him and he's absolutely adorable.
So because I— it was really important for me to don't suppress his life force energy in every kind of way. And but when I think back on my— how I was as a child, I had to face this. Um, I was not allowed to be loud.
I was not, uh, in the position to really speak up for me. I— that's why I, I, uh, I got this, this child, because he has his standpoint. He can say what he wants. And when, when I'm making dinner or something, or doesn't matter what, what, uh, What we are eating.
When I do something or cook something what he doesn't like, he says he doesn't like it. And that's the point. And you can try and yeah, maybe you can try a little bit or try something new or la la la la la talk talk talking him in or try to talk him into something. He says no.
He has so clear boundaries around. What he likes, what he doesn't like, and he's loud. And yeah, I don't want to say he's too loud because everything that's too or less is conditioning because he can be his free expression. But I had to grow into the woman or into the mother that can hold this kind of expression.
And I think we are evolving. As couple, we'd be both together too, because this week as well, we had a situation where he— and we have an issue here with our landlord because he said he's— my son is too loud and he's stamping on the floor and everything. And it's triggering me. But why do I have a child that's doing this?
Because it's triggering me and it's my my part to regulate and to, to get another perspective, to, to be fine with it. And it was so amazing to see, especially this week, because I thought, okay, we are moving in 2 days.
Let's drop this because my ego is only holding on to this. Oh, he's not allowed to make some, some noise here.
And it's really like, okay, I dropped it because I said, okay, it doesn't matter. I let it go. Consciously. And since then, he doesn't stamp at the floor anymore.
Really? I have a lot of, I have a lot of examples because it, it's, it's really like to, to look at the underlying energy around this. Everything that's come, comes up as a trigger for you, and it doesn't matter which person, but, um, it's, it's most of the time it's our parents or our children because that, that people are the closest to us or in relationships. And when they are there to, to push the buttons and to push and push till you are at the point where you say, okay, I need to look at this pattern and why it's triggering me because it's hitting something inside of me.
And then I can handle some in a different perspective. In a different way. And when you change the perspective, the trigger will disappear. Powerful.
It is, it is. Yeah, that's, that's ascension. That's the ascension that we, we work with our triggers. Doesn't matter who, who, um, who is triggering us.
It's always pointing to something in our own body, in our own energetic system that, that gets activated. Yeah, totally. I was having this conversation with a friend the other day around road rage and how someone else's actions influence our reaction to that. Yeah.
And yeah, I think I was like mid-20s. Yeah, we'd always be road raging in Australia. Like, you know, we're very much a car culture and racing around everywhere and have fast cars and do different things like burnouts and make big smoke and all crazy stuff. I mean, I'm a mechanic.
I grew up as a mechanic, so I've been around cars my whole life. And, uh, yeah, like, there was just this unconscious experience of like someone cuts you off and you'd yell at them and you'd throw like, you know, your hands and stick your middle finger up and do all these things. And, uh, I don't know, I come across like this audio that I was listening to and it was just sort of something along the lines of like, really, you're in control of your own actions.
Like, someone else's action in front of you in their vehicle.
You don't know what's going on for them. You don't know what kind of day they're having. And why should it affect your day? Like, you're letting that change and dictate your experience, uh, for that day and for sometimes maybe longer than that one day.
It might be the next day. And yeah, just sort of brought some awareness to be like, oh, actually I can control the way that I react. Yeah.
When someone else acts.
Like, that's taking responsibility and ownership of your own vessel and your own psyche. Yeah. And then like having this conversation with a friend, like she got really, really angry about something that happened in traffic, but on further inspection she already had a pretty frustrating day where her boss wasn't allowing her to, uh, do a task in a particular way. And her way, by her measure, is like the way that she wants to do it and finds it's most effective.
But her employer wasn't wanting to allow her to do that.
And so she found it very frustrating, but obviously couldn't release or have that emotion expressed. And then, wow, what a beautiful opportunity of creating this road rage incident, if you want to look at it that way, to be able to express. And then— But then she was beating it.
She was beating herself up for reacting to that and really letting it out. And I was like, well, did it feel good?
You know, like, was it actually a good feeling?
You know, you And we got to this point where, because she wasn't able to do that earlier, for her to express in that way.
And it was like, was it unsafe? She's like, well, yeah, like driving this motor car, I could cause an accident. I'm like, well, you didn't, and you've had many road rages before where that wasn't the case. But, um, it's better than being outside the car, maybe being in a fistfight where you're like fighting with this other driver or something.
Yeah. But it was like having this conversation with her, she was like, oh, so actually like I have some control.
Or some responsibility in the way that I react. And like you said, when you let it go, like, you don't hold on to this anymore.
Like, I very rarely, if at all, even experience some sort of road rage. It's very interesting. Yeah. And probably— Yeah.
To have this happen in your experience, like you had with your son. Like, it was like, I just let it go and now it's, it's not even there. Yeah, because what, what is fighting is it's fighting a part of my ego to, to prove a point, and that's absolutely not worth the energy. And yeah, in, in the— what I want to, uh, to add to the example what you talked about, and probably it was on purpose that this, um, car stuff happened because she needed a trigger to really let go of the, uh, of the anger and express her anger in this situation.
Yeah. Because the, the, um, yeah, Sometimes life is adding up some experiences until you can't hold the emotions anymore. And yeah, maybe you experience it when you're coming to a friend and you are asking one question and then she or her is starting crying. And that was the last puzzle piece she or he needed to let the emotions out.
So it's, yeah. It was a wonderful, yeah, opportunity to let the emotions flow.
So I have a question for you. Well, yeah, please go ahead.
Yeah, how do you as a masculine, um, handle your anger and the intense feelings in your body? And yeah, maybe you want to add something about self-control. And how you learned to control your level of self-control, because as a feminine, it's absolutely valuable to know that the man has self-control and, um, yeah, to feel safe around a masculine. Hmm.
This is a great topic, a great conversation. I'm gonna stick to my own experience. I think that's probably the easiest.
So similar to what you shared earlier about growing up and not having, uh, a way to be vocal or make noise, like you'd have to be quiet or be told to be quiet.
My General experience as a child was like, I think, from what most of the older generation would have experienced as well, like children are to be seen but not heard. Like, you can be there but just be quiet, something along those lines. But I also remember like really vividly being maybe 10, 9, 10 years old, and the oldest of like my nephews— uh, sorry, my cousins— and like when we're at family, like, functions.
So I'd stay out later because I was a bit older, but at the same time, I wasn't invited to be in the conversation.
I wasn't able to share.
So, like, literally be sitting at the table with all these adults and witnessing, absorbing, and being a sponge and taking all this in, but not being able to express or not being able to share. And ultimately, like, as an adult now, it's something that I've had like I've gotten to work through, which is like my voice matters. But I've struggled in like different jobs or different roles in business where I wasn't able to express, or if I did, I felt really off about it.
And it was like, oh, I don't know, maybe, you know, lose confidence or not be able to share in a way that just is received like that. I have so many filters over it, like I'm not worthy.
So I just most of the time wouldn't, even if I thought I had some great ideas or it changed something.
So yeah, I mean, I've worked through that.
And when it comes to anger and then self-control, like, yeah, I saw, um, I saw my father lose control, um, and I saw how my mother was affected by that. And I kind of made a promise or a choice at that time that I wasn't going to be that man. And aside from this being like, you know, turning into a therapy session, it's, it's really more of a sharing. But, you know, these, these things influence the way that I perceive life or the way that my life experience has turned out.
But I have to say that for like in the past few years, like really just giving myself permission to express and not containing it and not controlling it, just seeing what happens with that and allowing that, giving myself permission that wasn't given to me as a child or as a young adult or even as an adult. It's like, it's part of this concept of self-responsibility but also self-activation. And part of that is like, for me, an experiment in, okay, let's see what happens. And what would be the absolute worst that happens if I completely lost control in absolute rage?
Well, I don't think I've gotten there yet, and I may not. But to have the highest high vibration, or this high joy, or this high experience of life— you know, we alluded to that, like this hierarchy. Like, what is the desire to be here but not here, like at these lower vibrations, or this lower energy, or this lower life experience? And in my journey, in my own experience, is like, this is polarity, this is duality, this is the opposite.
We can't have one without the other. We can't have night without day, and we can't have black without white. We can't have masculine without feminine. And it's like we need this opposite to oppose it, to give us some contrast, to be able to see that.
So for the most part, for a long time, it's like trying to avoid this and suppressing it or covering it up or not allowing and thinking I should be happy when I'm not, or should be joyful when I'm not, and trying to fake a smile or do something else to appease other people and like be a people pleaser, or not show my real emotions and not have emotions at all and, and be really robotic. And I think I'm explaining maybe the way that most people have to live their life because they've got a partner that, you know, can't hold that, or they've got an employer that doesn't allow that. We've got other responsibilities. It's always like working out outwards, everyone else that I have to look after.
For me, it was like, well, yeah, now I've got a permission slip that I can go and be angry and yell at this thing that won't be fixed, you know, with the plumbing. And then my hacksaw breaks, and the next thing, you know, breaks and doesn't work. And it's like, man, can I just get a break and I could just fix it? And being aware that, like, I'm angry, being aware that, you know, this is— I'm expressing.
And then, you know, 20 minutes later when it's fixed, it's like, great, I knew we'd get here. Um, but not making that anger wrong and not, um, discounting how I felt in the moment. Because if I can give myself permission to be angry, then I can give myself permission to be happy. Because I found for me the experience was that I wasn't given permission to be anything.
Like, and for the longest part, that like, yeah, happiness might be a goal or joy might be a goal, but I wasn't even able to allow that because I have this belief that the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
So if I'm not allowing anger, well, I'm not going to be allowing happiness. And yeah, it's part of my self-control is actually letting go of control. And allowing that.
So I'm still on that path, I'm still on that journey of expression and receiving and, uh, allowing emotions because I've been giving them permission to come. I assure you they certainly are, and sometimes out of the blue, and I'll have a feeling of dread or sadness or something that's so extreme, and not ignoring it Actually allowing it, not doing self-control, not trying to control this, whatever's happening, allows it to be expressed. Um, and let me give you an example.
So I was house sitting another farm about 2 months ago, had 2 horses, 3, uh, macaws, like those big parrots, 5 little Eclectus parrots, uh, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 emus, which is really unique.
Like, emus as a pet in Australia is quite obscure, and emus obviously only exist in Australia.
So, uh, yeah, it's kind of cool. And I had the week to myself, solitude, and because I've even just allowed that time for solitude, it allowed this emotion that was deeply buried to express when it felt safe enough to in this environment. And just being quiet enough for it to come.
Well, it took like 4 or 5 days. I mean, it wasn't the goal for me to be like, oh, I'm gonna express something. I had no idea. But like 5 days of solitude, being in this environment, just away from the noise, away from other people's expectations, I was just this, this one day just woke up with absolute dread, like such sadness, such just disdain and, and just like real yucky feeling.
Like I just don't know, I didn't know what it was, but I was like, okay, I'm gonna sit with you, I'm gonna allow you to be, and I'm gonna allow this to happen. And And I'm just like, you know what, I don't need to like look after everything right this minute. Like, I need to be here with me. I had all these animals to be responsible for.
I was like, I just need to be here with this thing that's going on inside of me. Because I allowed that space to be expressed and to be witnessed within myself, the tears and the like absolute sadness that just came out of my face. It was one of the most powerful, like, releases that I've ever had. And narrowed it down, and after some research and discovery, that, that was grief.
This was grief And that's what it feels like. And I was like, fuck, that is so powerful. And it was grief that I hadn't been able to express previously from who knows what. Like, you don't need to get to the bottom of, but just allowing it to be there and not judging it was a big thing that I just felt, uh, afterwards like clear.
Like this clarity of just like, oh, that's come and gone. But it's just like, that's no longer there. Similar to like you said, your son doesn't stamp his feet anymore.
There's something inside of me that just doesn't, doesn't stamp its feet there.
And it was like, how fucking cool is life that I've actually got to this point where I can allow that? Like, it was so good. And like, if that pain is not there, then the pleasure can be there. This is why I'm smiling and talking about it, because it's like, fuck, that's so— like, it was so good for it to express.
Yeah. Challenge is I don't get to choose when it happens. Didn't think, oh, I need to tick this box off my to-do list of parts to heal. But I really wanted to share like a personal experience for you and for the listeners, because sometimes it's like easy to talk in concepts, but like this is a practical thing that happened for me out of the blue.
And like, why was it able to happen? Because it wasn't suppressed anymore. It was allowed to have a voice. Yeah.
But it wasn't just going to come to the table and start talking like, oh, now I'm allowed. It's like, no, I had to have like some safety and I had to have some space and some distance for it to express.
So when I have an emotion like anger now, I've had a real visceral life experience that me allowing something to happen has a positive effect on my life experience, on my living, on my healing.
So if I can give myself permission, then I can also remove or revoke that permission.
So if I ever felt that an emotion was getting to a point where it might endanger someone else or myself, and I feel that I've got that control that I could enact— but right now I'm just playing with the joy of, well, let's see what happens if I let this happen. And like I did with the anger yesterday, I was like, I just yelled and screamed and swore and Didn't throw anything, didn't wreck anything. Could have wanted to, was close to, but you know, there's still like a, a aware part of myself that was like, this is just gonna cause more problems. But definitely express, be vocal, animate, like get it out.
And then as an adult, on reflection, when our emotions— well, my emotion had calmed down, I was like, okay, cool, that was, that was allowed to be. And I'm not going to hold on to it.
And okay, if I can contain and control myself in that whilst allowing that emotion to be, I think that's a pretty powerful place to be rather than suppressing it.
So allowing it to happen and allowing other emotions to happen, I think, has definitely been a big part of my own self-control, my own permission, and my own life experience.
Can I add something? What, what really— Yeah, thank you. Well, thank you for witnessing that, for starters. Thank you for allowing me to express that.
Was amazing because it, it really clicked for me now that, um, we have to speak about the word or the definition of self-control, because it was really like you gave yourself permission to feel everything, and that's of of course, your feminine side, and you are stable enough to hold the container for your inner feminine. And when you are able to feel through the intensity of this anger or grief or whatever have you, that's what creates the self-control, because you know exactly you can hold the intensity that's coming up And I think I would feel more safe around the man that can handle his emotions and his intensity, because I know he's doing it not for the, for, uh, for the first time when he's with me, and he knows when he needs his time alone and to Take the space or to choose the space.
And sometimes you as a man, or I'm as a woman, I need to, to be in the solitude to feel what's— what wants to come up.
And sometimes I can choose to stay connected and let it flow through me.
And I think that's really the point, to, to see self-control not as I have to suppress it.
So, uh, instead of I build self-control because I know I can handle the intensity of the feeling. And that felt, yeah, amazing to witness as you explained your, um, your experience from, from last week. And I absolutely agree because I had a point in my life where for months and months anger came up or grief came up.
And of course I feel it. I don't, I don't know how it was in your case, but I can feel it when I have this, this pressure on, on my heart space. And then I know something wants to come up. And of course, sometimes it's not the right environment to feel safe.
Or even you, you don't know what's coming up and you need the solitude to handle it by your own, and then to give yourself the space to process. And of course, when I think back, for months and months and months, I, I cried and I screamed in, in my previous house, and I was hitting my couch or my bed, or I, I really tried to get this anger or these stuck emotions out. But I can absolutely speak about this, um, contrast because the more I let these trapped emotions flow through me, the more I came into this more peaceful state. And not— it's not like, okay, I'm, I'm avoiding The intensity or the bad feeling, so-called.
It's really like, okay, I'm not— well, I'm now welcoming— we have a visitor here on camera. Oh, she's amazing. Mildred. Um, yeah, and it's really like, okay, I'm, I'm not that intense.
You should say bad feelings. Um, of course, sometimes it comes up that I'm angry, but it's, it's very less than in the beginning. And it's really like, okay, now I'm— can I— can react to what happens in my life. But that, um, since I really worked on myself, I don't have experience now in my, my outside world where I'm get triggered.
Because the trigger is, as I said, the trapped emotions in your energetic field. And that's why you don't have, um, so many triggering experiences when you are evolving. And it— but I'm really welcoming when I feel this pressure on my, uh, on my heart space. And then I know, okay, I had to release something.
And especially as a feminine, it's so important to be in tune with with your emotions, and because you do lots of inner work and you are the energetic transmuter, and because I know exactly the feeling that you spoke about when you are done with expressing emotions and then some— the clarity hits and you are like, you let go of the trapped and, um, yeah, the trapped energy, and now you're feeling you can't you can breathe again, and that's an amazing feeling.
So it's totally— I mean, yeah, that's what I had with this grief was like definitely in the chest, but also just not even knowing what that was. Like, this is the thing, it was just like it's been there before. And that's just like, for me, like sometimes we've experienced stuff that, I mean, yeah, we— I'd love to get rid of it.
Like, let's just delete You know, rip it out. This is the proactive masculine, like, righto, let's fix the thing. And while the feminine, or this scared part, or the emotion that's trapped in the body, whichever perspective you want to take on it, is like, it's— some of this has been a foundation for our being, and it's been fundamental to the life experience that we're attracting as well.
And so finding that space of solitude, that time away, I think is important.
And it might not be just a weekend or a week, it could be years. It definitely— I still feel that's the case for me now. And creating that space to heal, to allow, yeah. And then being witness to it, like being conscious and present with the self.
Yeah, that's, that's, that's, I think that's what's been powerful for me. And then to meet with yourself or other people on their own journey and just, yeah, chatting and expressing that and allowing that and then finding out, oh, other people give themselves permission to do that. Mm-hmm. And that's, I didn't even know that was possible.
And yeah, I'd love to talk at a future podcasts about sobriety and the journey that I've been on with that, because I know that's something a lot of people either have dealt with, are dealing with, or not facing. And it's been, yeah, really cool to just even take those things that are blurring the vision to allow self-reflection and then experience these things. Because for me, like, alcohol was a big part of my life experience, and that was a lot of suppression.
So now that I'm not doing that thing to suppress, let's see what comes up.
But you're right in, in being the masculine or having this masculine aspect to be able to contain or offer this safety for the feminine to express that flowy emotion. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, that's part of my journey and it's something that I really enjoy experiencing now, uh, in the safety of that. And like you said, knowing that you've got self-control on that It's, it's a, it's a definitely a powerful thing.
Yeah, and, and you're not alone with this, uh, experience with, um, alcohol or drug in, in every, uh, kind of way, because the majority of men are numbing their emotions with, uh, with drugs. And that's why the masculine is— it's not that much common with, um, with feminine. I think it's more the masculine. They are, um, yeah, trying to escape, uh, and find the drugs very helpful.
But it's also like best example to see that the experience from the masculine side is different than the feminine side, how both try to deal with the intensity that's lying in, in their energy and in, in their body and trying to escape. And, um, yeah, we have this in, in another kind of way now in the people that are trying to, um, spiritually bypass, but the drug has changed. Yeah, yeah, it's really interesting. I definitely look forward to having that conversation at a later date, um, especially on the frame of like, yeah, the spirituality Egotism.
Um, I'm conscious of time too. How are we looking for this episode? Should we look for an endpoint here and continue our conversation in the next? What's your thoughts?
Yeah, oh, absolutely. We, we thought about, uh, yeah, I think we spoke about in the last episode we want to talk about betrayal, so stay tuned, uh, Listeners. And yeah, I think we too take a break and see you in the next episode. Thank you.
Awesome. Thank you, Stefanie. Appreciate that.
Great episode.
---
Generated by WhisperAI
https://whisperai.com